This poem was written while looking back at the struggle with my emotions after my 12 year old daughter's battle with Leukemia. As a parent it is hard to "let go and let God". There is always a tendancy to want to control everything about our children's lives. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to help us realize that only God can control everything in our lives. We are his creations and it is he who is Sovereign.
“Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered” ~ Heb 5:8
"He Could Have Called Her Home"
Although it seems like many years
The months were scarcely five
When on my knees to God I’d plead
My child he’d keep alive
Her body draped upon her bed
I saw her weak and frail
She fought for life as in her blood
The cells began to fail
Day by day her face revealed
The signs that life would flee
While day-by-day my Savior tried
The faith he’d placed in me
I’d cry for fear of losing faith
Yet in her room I’d smile
And pray “Dear Lord, relieve her pain
If only for a while”
For daughters, I had only one,
And would not let her go
I’d pray “Dear Lord, thy will be done”
Yet, in my heart I’d know
That should his will be one as such
To call her to his side
My heart would break to such extent
That I would want to hide
In hope his eyes would never see
The anger left in mine
When sadly facing his decree
Although it be divine
In selfishness I sought the hand
That held a healing touch
And found it would not move till I
Released her from my clutch
I watched through many sleepless nights
Her suffering and her pain
And found my fear had grown to such
My heart could not contain
My spirit warred against my flesh
For rule upon my heart
My love for God, my love for her
Could not be pulled apart
Through suffering, obedience came
And to my God I cried
Releasing her, though such release
Might take her from my side
And when my heart, on trembling knees,
Had finally set her free
The God of Heaven turned around
And gave her back to me!
Then, just so I would see his power
And glorify his name,
He touched my child, and with his touch
At once the healing came
Love could’ve easily called her home
But yet he let her stay
His healing touch reached far beyond
Her body on that day
He healed my selfish, fearful heart
And now I will proclaim
With humble gratitude, to all
The glory of his name.
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